And The Hero Will Drown

"...This is gonna be a long post, I can tell already..."

Honestly, either it's life or death. Light or dark. Either I will kill this or I will have to find a way to kill myself. Because this cannot go on anymore. I threw it all away.

I don't want this to turn into a depressing blog. I tried to unload on "Confessions" and "Wicker Poet". I needed more. I just...can't...go on...

I'm dying, guys. That's the truth here, the real truth. I'm dying.

And even if I did resurface. Even if God, in pure and total love and grace, saved me again...what then? More broken promises and failures would lie ahead. More darkness. The closer I get, the worse it will get.

So if this weak corruption will admit he can't do anything...wilt thou please have mercy on thy chosen spirits and children here on earth, and simply take the breath from him?

...I'm letting everything down. I am going down.

I don't know. This is what crazy is. Insane crazy. This is what it's like to be in the middle of a tossing sea, knowing that if you go down again, you aren't coming back up. So you want someone to grab your hand again, tell you that you've been overboard time and time again, and will go overboard many more times yet. But that it's okay.