Reverse/Rebirth

I just did something terrible that I won't talk about. But it's made me feel so dirty, and I realize how far down I've come in my life.

I mean, it's so awful to be a two-face. To not know who you really are. To constantly be putting up a show for everyone you see, fake 'em all out. Like Linkin Park's "Lying From You":

When I pretend,
Everything is what I want it be,
I looked exactly like what you always wanted to see
When I pretend,
I can forget about the criminal I am
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can, but,
I can’t pretend that this is the way it'll stay, I'm just
[Trying to bend the truth]
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be...
So I pretended up a person who was fitting in
And now you think this person really is me, and I'm
[Trying to bend the truth]
The more I push, the more I’m pulling away,
Cause I’m
[Lying my way from]

You
[No, no turning back now]
I wanna be pushed aside, so let me go
[No, no turning back now]
Let me take back my life,
I’d rather be all alone
[No turning back now]
Anywhere on my own, cause I can tell
[No, no turning back now]
The very worse part of you
The very worse part of you is me.

I want to get away from that other side of me. That other person that I think I wanna be, but no matter how hard I run he always seem to follow me around. And I can't decide who to be. Me or him. Sometimes I hate him, and sometimes I think he's got everything. But really, he's got nothing. And when I'm him, I'm empty.

I guess the real reason I don't wanna change is because I'm too lazy. I'm too lazy to really make the choice. And I'm too scared. I don't know how I'm ever gonna get back up again. To be reborn, but also to die. So I'm dying and I'm becoming born again all at once. And this time it's gotta happen for light or dark. I either wake to the day or the night. And right now the morning seems too far away for me to ever last that long. I think I lost my chance.