Gifts And Curses

It's de-ja-vue all over. Last summer, I was stirred and taught by the themes of "Spider-Man 2", which are Choice, Sacrifice, and Destiny. They were great lessons that I was taught, but now I have to go through all of it again. I had to make a very difficult choice, a heavy sacrifice, and found out what my destiny may be.

To be honest I've been doing all that since I was very young. But in recent times, the stakes have never been higher. I have a gift, and I have a curse. My strength is my weakness. My light is my dark.

Thinking of that, I remember the song "Gifts and Curses" by Yellowcard, and I realize that it's also in my case about the girl I like. I want to be for her. I've been working my tail off getting into shape because I want to play lacrosse—since my mom says I need a sport and I figure I have a chance if I'm in a sport to get a girl anyway. (And I'm NOT saying her name, 'cause too many people who read this could know her.) I'll just call her Mary Jane. That puts a smile on Amaya's face, I know. But it's true. She really is my Mary Jane. I want to be her friend and be there for her. But I can't until I make my choice. I want to be good for her. Every time I'm around her I become my true self. There's only one real Marcus that few people see. Mary Jane is one of them. And she brings out the best in me, the light. I wish I could be like that all the time.

Gifts and Curses—Yellowcard
Mary Jane belongs to the words of a song
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her
But she will not wait for me anymore, anymore
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure

[She is the one]
But I have a purpose,
[She is the one]
And I have to fight this,
[She is the one]
This villian I can't knock down...

Mary Jane's alive in the bright New York sky
The city lights shine for her
Sometimes I cry for her
Everything's small on the ground below, down below
What if I fall? Then where would I go? Would she know?

[She is the one]
All that I wanted,
[She is the one]
And I will be haunted,
[She is the one]
This gift is my curse for now...

I see your face with every punch I take, and every bone I break
—It's all for you
And my worst pains are words I cannot say
Still, I will always fight on for you.