"I Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier"

Everything seems to be going a lot better. I was having such a terrible morning, but it got better when I went to seminary. I was contemplating ditching seminary today and sneaking into the computer lab to do my AP Literature homework. But I am so glad that I went to seminary anyway. The girls had an awesome presentation for the boys.

I was very touched that they were willing to give something to me even though I am not a part of the class. Thanks so much for my dog tag!

While in class, I recieved some inspiration about what courage really is. Now I have the will to go on and try fighting...yet again.

My heart is burdened because of all these things that I've done.

This song means a lot to me. I wanna be fixed, but I'm afraid that I won't stay fixed. But I might as well keep fighting. After all, if I'm gonna win my own red badge of courage then I've gotta have courage. And courage is not about how many times you win the war.

It's the number of times that you get up when you fall down.


"All These Things That I've Done"
--The Killers, from Hot Fuss

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son?
One more son?
If you can hold on
If you can hold on,
Hold on.

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand
Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out, yeah
You know you got to help me out, yeah
Oh, don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The gold-hearted boy I used to be

You gotta help me out, yeah
You know you got to help me out, yeah
Oh, don't you put me on the backburner
You know you got to help me out, yeah
You gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You gonna bring yourself down, yeah
You gonna bring yourself down...

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier...

[Time, truth and hearts]

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
[Time, truth and hearts]
If you can hold on.

P.S. For your reading pleasure, I have posted my most recent homework assignment from my Creative Writing class on A Poet in Wicker Park. We were supposed to write something inspired by the word "veteran". While I have never personally known veterans of a war, I have known veterans of a love or friendship. So my will-probably-be-heavily-revised song "Red Bullets of Courage" is the result.