The Taste of Ink

Spring break was...kinda normal. I had the sulfur burps--there's a more sophisticated name for it, but it's this really gross sickness that basically turns you into a walking, talking, (forgive my language) burbing and farting stink bomb. You also have frequent, intimate conversations with the toilet. And most people throw up often and are bed ridden, but I didn't. It's a virus that lives somewhere in my body, and will be there for the rest of my life. It's not an actual bug, it's really a colony of these ameobas called...

Okay, so enough of grossing you out with my bodily functions. If you want a good read for the end of the year, I recommend My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok or Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton. They give you really nice epiphanies about life, maybe even yours.

Briefing on something that happened with Ben. First, at a birthday party for Eric Smith, I ignored him. It was just something that happened in me. But later that night, I regretted it so much. I wanted to relive that night so I wasn't a jerk. That night, I decided that once and for all I need to determine what kind of friendship I want with Ben. And either there is a friendship, or nothing at all. End of story.

So the next day at work, instead of ignoring him I talked to him. It amazed me (and continues to amaze me) how in spite of my rudeness, he still played the friend. It's a great example to me. Let's all do that.

It reminded me of unconditional love, and no prejudice about my problems. So that reminds me now: I want to publically apologize to one of my good friends, McKay. Please forgive me for being so harsh and judgemental that night in the hallways. It was not my place. I beg your forgiveness. I do not judge you anymore; in a way, I understand you more. Please forgive me.

And now, a new song about my life and the complex relationship I have with God, my best friends, the blue and yellow high-school-romantic era that rapidly draws to a close, and the world and life that I find gladly, dangerously, opening itself up before my very eyes...

"The Taste of Ink"--The Used
Is it worth it? Can you even hear me?
Standing with your spotlight on me,
Not enough to feed the hungry.
I'm tired, and I felt it for a while now
In this sea of lonely
The taste of ink is getting old
It's four o' clock in the [early] morning
Each day gets more and more like the last day
Still I can see it coming,
While I'm standing in the river drowning,
This could be my chance to break out
This could be my chance to say goodbye.
At last it's finally over,
Couldn't take this town much longer
Being half-dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now I'm ready to be free:

So here I am, it's in my hands
And I'll savor every moment of this
So here I am, alive at last
And I'll savor every moment of this.

And won't you think I'm pretty
When I'm standing top the bright-lit city
And I'll take your hand and pick you up,
And keep you there to so you can see.
As long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there,
And we'll drink and dance the night away.

As long as you're alive, here I am
I promise I will take you there.



P.S. Ben Harper is really good.