The Butterfly Effect
Long time no see...
February. It's been a long month. Main points...all the major events are hard to remember.
My first mistake is being involved in so much stuff. I'm on the Orem High Ballroom Team, I'm in the play "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers", and I'm on the Orem High lacrosse team. Not to mention I have a platter full of all these little side business ventures, so to speak.
All these internal changes have been taking place, but mostly physical adaptations and changes and adjustments, summing up into one grand paradigm shift. My "outside" is permanently changed. But...not my heart. Not yet.
As I look over my soundtrack to this last season, all sorts of memories come to me. The grueling hours spent on the lacrosse field. The nights spent working on some homework assignment. Performing at school. Ignoring Ben. Finding out about Alex. Telling Cameron about the darkness. The search for passion. Feelings come. The snowfall inside. The dark shell I become when I allow myself to be taken and seduced by evil. The taste in my mouth, in my throat, the emptiness in my stomach, in my soul, in my mind, in my soul. The coldness. The darkness. The smell. The touch. The feel. It all comes.
When I remember back far, far
The future was shining endlessly
Below the pretty blue sky
We were only a little bit frightened
The window was bathed in a nostalgic colour
If I keep on looking forward
Will I meet you again?
The future continues anywhere
Underneath a large sign
I want to watch time change
Towards the people, the places
I will never see again
I open this window
When I remember back far, far
The future was shining endlessly
Below the pretty blue sky
We slept endlessly
The person I liked long ago
Is to have a child in winter
Our promises from long ago
Sometimes I want to doubt them
I could never forget
I wonder if your New Year's card will have a photo
All the things we were unable to do
I look back on with nostalgia
My fears
My lies
Below the blue sky
May the butterfly effect now alter the heart.
Azora no shita...
Hitoshirezu...
My heart's a battleground...
We will rebuild this from the heart.
posted by Alexander at 12:36 AM
3 Comments:
Wanting change is the first step.
(Hey, it's letting me post now! It wouldn't before!)
Thursday, March 23, 2006 5:13:00 PM
Way to quote ∞! (Hoobastank)
Now let me quote All-American Rejects:
"Is there anybody out there that wakes up with a bitter taste?"
Change, change, change . . .
Another quote:
"And all bridges you've burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it's all gone, what's left for you.
And when the sky is falling,
Don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind
You let go too soon.
Sit down, you're sinking
There's no one to watch you
Skip town, you're thinking
There's no one to stop you
Don't run away,
Start feeling fine
It's better than your worst
Your worst day
No words to say?
I'll give you mine,
And pocket all the hurt, and just stay.
Don't run away!
It's better than your worst
Your worst day."
Thursday, March 23, 2006 7:32:00 PM
And now allow me to quote.
"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key...
...and I will sing this victory song."
Wednesday, March 29, 2006 8:40:00 PM
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