It Falls on Me

So I'm really bug-eyed right now, because I had a late night with Genesis and Exodus and I went to bed at 4:30 am. I'm trying to read the Bible equivalent of the Torah.

Yeah, for those who don't know, then I tackle some bits from the Pali Canon, which is a Buddhist text. Then I will read the Four Gospels, then the Qur'an (or however you spell it that way, since "Koran" is wrong apparently), then the Book of Mormon. And all before Thursday. And I don't plan on getting too much sleep. And I'm going on a religious fast, in accordance with an LDS seminary challenge to get an experience from God that money cannot buy.

I'm looking for some healin'. I just want God to tell me if He's going to fix me or if I'm not worth saving anymore. And I'm okay if it's the latter, I guess.

So I had my second jamming session with my band over the Thanksgiving break. We've been going over "Best of You" (Foo Fighters) and a song I wrote called "Victor Hugo", which may be posted on A Poet in Wicker Park at some point. We are supposed to play four songs: those two, a mix of the Colplay piano and the Wicker Park soundtrack acoustic guitar of "The Scientist", which I must say is a rather nice blend. Then one more original. I submitted to them "In Your Honor" (found on A Poet in Wicker Park) and they really liked it. I'm glad they liked it, because I was afraid that all my stuff is really stupid to them.

I was at a family reunion (with people that aren't really related to me) and there was this turkey shoot with prizes. And there it was, the perfect Christmas gift for my best friend, Ben: a Mr. Potato Head Darth Tater. To say that Ben is a major Star Wars geek would be a HUGE understatement. Personally, I don't take too much stock in anything from George Lucas unless it's Indiana Jones. But hey, he's my best friend. So I arrange with my brother through painstaking strategy to win the Darth Tater and we finally secure it, after a stressful, long combat which involved good and evil and a lot of rubber bands.

Anyways, I was at Ben's house on Saturday, with Eric my childhood friend and I had set it up with my other friend Trevor who was there to ask Ben about a Darth Tater, because the gift fits him so perfectly that I wondered if he already had one. Apparently he's so far down the Star Wars road that he thought a Darth Tater disgraced the sacred figure of Darth Vader. So I felt kinda down that after all that trouble he wouldn't like it. Kinda discomforting to know that if I had given it to him, knowing him he would've kept his mouth shut.

Not necessarily because of that incident, but because I'm an idiot, I treated him real bad that night. I remember how he offered Trevor a chance to play with him and Eric on the XBox Star Wars game they were playing. Just playing around I acted offended and said, "Oh sure, don't offer me to play."

He was like, "Well you hate Star Wars, so no. I won't."

And Eric says, "Gosh, Ben, lighten up." Or something like that. And I said rather harshly, "Yeah Ben. Get a grip."

It was a few moments before I heard Ben say quietly, almost to himself, "...Well...it's called a joke, so...you get a grip."

And then later I was in the hallway looking for his brother and I saw this rockin'-sockin' Batman Begins movie poster--the exact one I want where he's just standing there like a statue against a sunset. And I asked Ben where he got it, and he was like, "You went in my room?" I took him a little too seriously and said, "Hey, don't cry about it." Ben's brother started laughing, but he didn't.

I wish I could stop that. I wish I could stop everthing.