I Am Bleeding and Falling Apart

I don't know how to describe the way I feel right now.

Perhaps it's like that teenager in the "I'm Still Here" music video, from Treasure Planet. Just watching as the world starts turning a different color and his parents start fighting and the rain starts pouring and then stops, and then that spider thing is chasing him, then he's running for Treasure Planet but it's so far away, then the sky turns to blood and meteors start flying everywhere and his home explodes, and suddenly everywhere he runs the walls fall down and collapse and everything starts to collapse, and it's the end. And he's helpless.

Or maybe it's like I'm with Farimir and Eowyn in Return of the King. Just standing on the balcony, looking ahead as the future of my whole planet starts to crash down and erupt into flame with eternal fires of Mordor across the mountainous horizon. In completely breathless silence, I stand there just staring at it. Wondering how it's gonna end.

Except...there's no one holding my hand.