Four Days In Verse

Here I am, up late. For the past four days I’ve gotten about 10 or 12 hours of sleep. I’m gonna just go over what happened using song and verse.

The first night was because I was up doing my “Confessions of a Rainmaker” blog (which is now accessible from the link here on this blog). That blog is about my spiritual life, so feel free to visit and give opinion. However, because it’s religious and spiritual, please don’t flame me in the comments. (Dude, don’t flame me at all, actually.) Don’t tell me I’m being blasphemous or something. If you want to attack my religion, beliefs, or confessionals, then email me.

The next night was because my friends Amaya and McKay were having a crisis. McKay is notorious at my school for a tragic reason. If you ask someone—typically a sophomore or junior—who are the most depressing people at Orem High, they’d probably list McKay in their answer. I’ve never really closely associated with the guy, but everyone always says that he’s depressed all the time and that you can never talk to him, he’s hard to understand, etc. However, when I visited his blog, I didn’t necessarily see a blue-mood guy as much as I saw…myself. I could see a lot of similarities between him and me. And while I’m reading it, I’m thinking, “How can no one understand this dude? I totally understand this stuff!!”

This song is kinda for him. It’s called “Jim’s Theme” from Disney’s Treasure Planet, but I would like to submit it as “McKay’s Theme”. P.S. I kinda like how each chorus is different.

"I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme)"—John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls
I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard,
Or a moment that’s held in your arms
And what do you think you’d ever say? I won’t listen anyway
You don’t know me, and I’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you’d understand? I’m a boy? No, I’m a man
You can’t take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what’s never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They can’t see me, ‘cause I’m not here.

And I want a moment to be real, wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on, and feel I belong.
And how can you say I’ll never change?
They’re the one’s that stay the same
They don’t know me, ‘cause I’m not here.

And you see the things they never see—all you wanted, I could be,
Now you know me, and I’m not afraid
And I wanna show you who I am. Can you help me be a man?
They can’t break me—as long as I know who I am.

And I want moment to be real, wanna touch things I don’t feel
Wanna hold on—and feel I belong,
And how can the world want me to change?
They’re the ones that stay the same
They can’t see me, but I’m still here…
They can’t tell me who to be, ‘cause I’m not what they see,
Yeah—the world keeps on sleeping while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I’ll never believe…

And I want a moment to be real, wanna touch things I don’t feel
—Wanna hold on, and feel I belong
And how can you say I’ll never change?
They’re the ones that stay the same

I’m the one now, ‘cause I’m still here.

I’m the one
‘Cause I’m still here
I’m still here…I’m still here…



The third night I was up talking to my friend Richard about girls, school politics, and the Book of Revelations. If you’ve ever seen the T.V. show “Smallville”, then met Richard, you’d swear that Lex Luther and Richard were the same person—except Richard is much younger, doesn’t own a mansion, and isn’t bald. (Although an infamous math teacher at his junior high once told him that all he needed to be cool was to shave his head. The teacher himself was bald.) Richard is into business, economics, politics, and women. He’s got connections everywhere, and you can ask him for almost anything. His father is a business tycoon, a millionaire. He fences. He has the same girlfriend problems. And, he’s got a knack for saving the day with style, wit, and class (unlike Clark, who just dashes in and throws people around). Richard’s one of the coolest people I know, bald or not.

Anyway, when girls came up we started talking about the girl I like, which got me thinking about her for the rest of the night, which led to this song. P.S. Hoobastank is turning into one of my favorite bands. Because fact: they’re awesome, and I can’t believe that “The Reason” is the only song that gets real radio coverage. They’ve got way better songs. P.P.S. Richard is the one who lent me their CD.

"Lucky"—Hoobastank ("The Reason")
I knew how it felt to be
Another one in need of someone to show the way,
Until you saw a part of me that nobody else could see
And my life hasn't been the same.

Chorus:
You make me feel lucky as I can be…
You make me feel
Lucky as I can be

Before, I couldn't get a break [Couldn't get a break]
Never had a chance to make the impressions I want to,
But now, it falls right into place [Falls right into place]
When I get to see your face, then there's nothing that I can't do.

Chorus

No more dark days, only sun rays
No more hard ways with you today…

You…make me…feel...

You make me feel
Lucky as I can be...lucky as I can be.



This past week, things have been getting kinda weird between Harry and I, and every day I’m wondering exactly what’s going on. Sometimes I plain don’t give a darn anymore, and sometimes I really miss the guy. So this song is for him—or rather, because of him I should say.

"Never There"—Hoobastank ("The Reason")
I'm filling up inside like, I need to open wide
And pour my heart out to you
But I'll just get denied, and all I wanted was someone
To hear what I'm going through.

Chorus:
Every time that I need you around, you're never there
[never there] You're never there [never there]
Because in my life is where I need you now,
But you're never there [never there]
You're never there [never there]

You were supposed to see all the signs I left to read in front of your face
You were supposed to be the closest thing to being me,
But you're the furthest away.
That's because

Chorus

And I doubt that I will ever find out
If there's a way to get out of feeling all alone
'Cause lately, I've been thinking maybe
If no one's gonna save me, I'll do it on my own
On my own…on my own…



And finally, here’s the way I’ve been feeling lately. P.S. Love the new 3 Doors Down album.

"Never Will I Break"—3 Doors Down ("Seventeen Days")
Lay me down, wash this blood off my hands for me
While I cry out, "Don't let me die before I go to sleep."
And I can't keep going, but I cannot start again—
This road I walk is paved with broken promises I've made
At least a million times I've fallen, but never will I break.

These walls I make, they could hold me in and hold me back today
Oh, but tomorrow's new, and I'll walk right out and walk right over you.
If you hear me screaming, please don't let me fall again—
This road I walk is paved with broken promises I've made
At least a million times I've fallen, but never will I break.

My time is on its way
I'll fall but I won't break

This road I walk is paved with broken promises I've made
At least a million times I've fallen, but never will I break.